Try throwing things at your parents to see of they're real are not.

She read you a book and kissed you good night, don’t judge her for leaving through the window.

*Ara Ara*

I can confidantly say my parents weren't real parents.

What if it's in reverse?

Oh boi, free reading for you and a kiss goodbye. My granny used the chancla if I didn't want to sleep, so jealous.

She loves you and protects you from the rest of her tribe, but you had to make her "spooky"

I wouldn't fucking mind if my parents are some demonic entity. They could seriously mess some people up.

Heather the ‘motherly’ ghost

Do not sleep, she waits for you to sleep

I like it better backwards