Woke up to this today

OP getting rid of his HDD filled with "homework" files.

Well blackman sir, while youre at it, we may need to search your car

So that can plant coke and shoot you in the face?

OP parked on a pedestrian

the same happened to me some weeks ago. so i guess you are coming from germany/europe in general?

"Hello" "I SWEAR HE WAS STILL ALIVE WHEN I LEFT!" "Wait what?" "What?"

I got arrested once because my wife's ex told the cops I had hit him with a baseball bat (I hadn't only came close) then during the interview with the detective I showed the cop all the shit that that asshole had done to me that I got video off on my phone and got him arrested he got community service for it.

Lucky they didn't check your basement

You outlaw you